Welcome to the beginner’s guide to using toys in the bedroom. If you’re wondering how to start using sex toys, you’re in the right place. This guide covers how to choose your first toy, types of toys available, and tips for safe and enjoyable use. Let’s make your introduction to sex toys exciting and fun.
Think of this as a beginner’s guide to sex, offering foundational knowledge, safety advice, and practical tips for anyone new to sexual exploration.
Key Takeaways
- Sex toys enhance pleasure, intimacy, and satisfaction for everyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
- When choosing a first toy, consider size, shape, and material, with silicone being a recommended safe option.
- Using sex toys can boost communication and excitement in partnered play, leading to deeper intimacy and higher overall satisfaction.
Why Introduce Sex Toys?

Sex toys can enhance pleasure, improve intimacy, and increase sexual satisfaction, allowing you to reach new heights of ecstasy and discover new sensations. They provide pleasure, invite exploration, and push the boundaries of your pleasure.
Nearly half of women have used a sex toy, highlighting their widespread acceptance and the cultural shift towards celebrating sexual health. The modern market offers a wide range of options, from classic vibrators to app-controlled devices, making them accessible to everyone.
Moreover, sex toys are not limited by gender or sexual orientation; they can be enjoyed by everyone, promoting a more inclusive sexual experience. Whether you’re flying solo or sharing the experience with a partner, sex toys can add a new layer of excitement and connection to your intimate moments.
Choosing Your First Sex Toy

With so many options available, selecting your first sex toy can feel overwhelming. Consider factors like:
- Size
- Shape
- Vibration settings
- Noise level
- Power source
to find a toy that aligns with your comfort and excitement levels. Ultimately, the choice of toy comes down to personal preference, as everyone’s tastes and comfort levels are different.
For beginners, toys made from pure silicone are highly recommended for their body-safe properties. They are non-porous, hypoallergenic, and easy to clean, making them a safe choice for your first sex toy made of body-safe silicone. Additionally, materials like medical-grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel are excellent non-porous and hypoallergenic options. Nonporous materials such as silicone, ABS plastic, stainless steel, and glass are safer for sex toys. Porous materials, on the other hand, can trap bacteria, making it difficult to clean sex toys effectively. It’s important to check the toy’s material to ensure compatibility with lubricants and cleaning methods.
Most toys will include information about compatible lubricants in their packaging, so be sure to follow these guidelines for safety and longevity.
Consider the type of stimulation you desire—clitoral, penetration, or a combination of both. Explore various options at your own pace to find one that excites and comforts you, including the possibility of a blended orgasm. Male masturbators, such as strokers or sleeves, are designed to enhance the sensation of masturbation.
Types of Sex Toys for Beginners
Generally speaking, sex toys for beginners are designed to be easy to use, safe, and enjoyable, making them ideal for those just starting to explore.
For newcomers, beginner-friendly options like vibrators, dildos, and cock rings are ideal for exploration. Each type offers unique sensations and can enhance your sexual experiences in different ways. Insertable toys, such as dildos and some vibrators, are designed for penetrative pleasure and come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and materials to suit different preferences. This is a Beginner’s Guide to sex.
Modern sex toys cater to various preferences and needs, providing unique sensations, including the remote controlled prostate massager. Here’s a closer look at each type in the world of sex toys and a guide to sex toys to help you find the perfect match for your desires. Prostate massagers are specifically designed to stimulate the prostate and can provide intense pleasure.
Vibrators
Vibrators are highly popular for their versatility and effectiveness. They come in various forms, including:
- Bullet vibrators
- Palm vibrators, which are larger, pebble-shaped toys designed to cover more surface area for broader external stimulation. Unlike bullet vibrators, palm vibrators are ideal for stimulating external erogenous zones with their wider shape.
- Wand vibrators, which are powerful external vibrators that are almost microphone-shaped with a rounded head and are often recommended for beginners
- Rabbit vibrators, designed to stimulate both the G-spot and clitoris simultaneously for blended orgasms. Each type is designed to provide different kinds of pleasure, making them some of the best vibrators available.
- Bullet vibrators
- Wand vibrator, which is often recommended for beginners
- rabbit vibrator Each type is designed to provide different kinds of pleasure, making them some of the best vibrators available.
There are also internal vibrators, specifically designed for internal stimulation, offering unique sensations compared to external vibrators.
Vibrators can target a variety of areas, including the clitoris, g spot, and other erogenous zones, enhancing your sexual pleasure. Using a vibrator for solo play or partnered activities can lead to intense and satisfying experiences due to their powerful g spot stimulator.
Dildos
Dildos are excellent for beginners seeking internal stimulation. They come in various shapes, sizes, and aesthetics, from realistic to abstract forms, including anal dildos. A thruster is a type of insertable toy with a motorized thrusting motion that mimics penetrative sex, often featuring retraction, extension, or magnet propulsion for enhanced sensations. Popular materials include silicone, stainless steel, and glass, all safe and easy to clean. Avoid porous materials like jelly rubber, PVC, or TPE, as they may contain harmful chemicals and can harbor bacteria.
Features like veiny textures and ridges can provide extra stimulation. Dildos are designed primarily for internal use and can be used vaginally, anally, or orally.
When choosing a dildo, consider your preference for deep penetration or shallow penetration and your comfort level. Use plenty of lubricant for a comfortable and pleasurable experience.
Cock Rings
Cock rings enhance erections and prolong pleasure by restricting blood flow. They can be an exciting addition to both solo and partnered play. Cock rings are worn at the base of the penis to help sustain erections and can enhance pleasure during sex.
A vibrating cock ring includes a vibrating unit for increased stimulation, and can also function as a finger vibe. Ensure it feels snug but not uncomfortable, and clean it thoroughly after use.
Anal Toys
Anal toys are a fantastic way to explore new sensations and add variety to your sex life, whether you’re enjoying solo play or partnered play. Designed specifically for anal play, these toys come in a wide range of shapes, sizes, and materials to suit different preferences and experience levels. Popular options include anal beads, which offer a unique sensation as each bead is inserted or removed, and butt plugs, which provide a feeling of fullness and can be worn during other activities. Anal dildos are another great choice for those seeking deeper internal stimulation.
When choosing anal toys, it’s important to consider the toy’s material, size, and texture. Silicone toys are especially popular for anal play because they’re soft, flexible, and body-safe, making them comfortable and easy to clean. Beginners should start with smaller sizes and gradually work up as comfort increases. Always use plenty of lubricant with anal toys to enhance pleasure and reduce friction. Remember, patience and relaxation are key—take your time and listen to your body to ensure a pleasurable and safe experience.
Couples Toys
Couples toys are designed to bring partners closer together and add excitement to your shared intimate moments. These sex toys come in a variety of forms, from vibrating cock rings that enhance pleasure for both partners during penetrative sex, to remote-controlled toys that can be used for playful teasing during oral sex or even from a distance. Anal beads and remote-controlled prostate massagers are also popular choices for couples looking to explore anal play together.
When incorporating sex toys into your sex life, communication is essential. Talk openly with your partner about your desires, boundaries, and any new toys you’d like to try. Couples toys can help spice things up, break routine, and create new opportunities for pleasure and connection. Whether you’re experimenting with a new cock ring, exploring anal beads, or trying a remote-controlled toy, remember that the goal is to enhance intimacy and have fun together. Take things at your own pace and enjoy discovering what brings you both the most pleasure.
Using Sex Toys Safely

Safety is paramount when using sex toys. Clean your hands thoroughly before handling them to prevent harmful bacteria spread. Each toy should be cleaned immediately after use. Additionally, it is essential to clean toys before their first use and after every use with warm water and a mild antibacterial soap. For water-resistant or non-waterproof toys, it’s best to wipe the toy’s head with a damp cloth to prevent damage while ensuring hygiene. Use a new condom when switching between vaginal and anal use of a toy to prevent bacterial spread. You should also avoid inserting anal toys into the vagina to reduce the risk of infections like BV.
To ensure safety and enjoyment:
- Regularly inspect your sex toys for damage to avoid injuries.
- Avoid using vibrating toys on one area for prolonged periods to prevent irritation.
- Use a ‘Yes, No, Maybe’ list with your partner to help identify interests and ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for both.
Exploring Erogenous Zones with Sex Toys
Erogenous zones, when stimulated, can lead to increased arousal and pleasure. Using sex toys to explore these zones can open new dimensions of enjoyment. For instance, vaginal orgasms may require more effort than clitoral ones, but toys like a curved vibrating dildo can effectively stimulate the G-spot. Additionally, understanding the erogenous zone can enhance the experience.
Anal play, even at a minimal level, can elevate a woman’s sexual experience, making anal toys, anal plugs, anal beads, and butt plugs a good introduction to the anal canal. Anal beads consist of a series of beads connected by a stem meant for anal insertion, offering a unique type of stimulation. Bullet vibrators can significantly enhance clitoral stimulation, essential for many women to achieve orgasm. Experimenting with various toys on different parts of the body, like the inner thighs or neck, can enhance overall arousal, including anal penetration. Nipple clamps can also be used to stimulate the nipples and enhance arousal as part of sensory play. Anal plugs are designed to remain inside the body during anal play, providing a sensation of fullness.
When it comes to prostate stimulation, the prostate is often described as a ‘treasure chest’ of pleasure, with targeted stimulation offering the potential for intense enjoyment.
Clitoral Stimulation Techniques
Clitoral stimulation is a key part of pleasure for many people, and there are plenty of ways to explore it with sex toys. A clitoral suction toy can provide focused, gentle suction that mimics oral stimulation, often leading to intense and satisfying sensations. Bullet vibrators are another popular choice—they’re small, discreet, and perfect for targeted clitoral stimulation. For those who prefer a bit more power, a wand vibrator can deliver deep, rumbly vibrations to the clitoris and surrounding areas.
When experimenting with clitoral stimulation, start with gentle touches and gradually increase the intensity as you become more comfortable. Every person’s preferences are unique, so take time to explore different techniques and communicate with your partner about what feels best. Whether you’re using a toy solo or during partnered play, focusing on clitoral stimulation can lead to heightened pleasure and more fulfilling intimate experiences.
Incorporating Sex Toys into Partnered Play

Using sex toys in partnered play can expand your sexual repertoire and enhance intimacy. Engaging in playful partnered sex that prioritizes mutual pleasure makes the experience more enjoyable for both partners, including exploring each other’s partner’s body. Guiding each other in toy exploration fosters communication and a deeper understanding of each other’s likes and dislikes, including the potential for penetrative sex. Learning about your partner’s body through toys can help discover new sources of pleasure and strengthen your connection. For anal play, always use toys with a flared base to prevent them from getting lost internally and to ensure safety. Discuss using toys with a partner outside the bedroom before trying them during intimacy to ensure comfort and mutual agreement. Introducing toys into a relationship should involve open communication, consent, and a willingness to explore new sensations together, addressing any concerns or misconceptions. Couples’ sex toys are designed with partners in mind, including remote-controlled toys for interactive play.
Ways to enhance intimacy include:
- Taking breaks during sexual activities to check in on each other’s comfort and enjoyment levels.
- Using a remote-controlled vibrator during outings to create excitement and anticipation for later intimacy.
- Incorporating laughter and jokes during intimate moments to reduce anxiety and promote comfort.
- Using remote-controlled sex toys can maintain intimacy in long-distance relationships, keeping the connection alive even when apart.
- Providing feedback during use is essential for guiding your partner on what feels best, ensuring a more satisfying and enjoyable experience.
Exploring adult toys together can break the routine of everyday life, adding a playful element to your intimacy. Accessories like wedge pillows can support deeper penetration and improve comfort during partnered play. Cock rings can enhance pleasure and prolong erections during partnered sexual activity.
The Role of Lubricants
Lubricants ensure smooth and pleasurable play with sex toys by reducing friction, making sexual activities more comfortable and enjoyable. Water-based lubricants are ideal for use with silicone sex toys, as they do not degrade the material.
For anal sex, it’s especially important to use plenty of lubricant to ensure comfort and reduce the risk of injury.
Silicone-based lubricants offer longer-lasting moisture but can damage silicone toys over time. Choose a lubricant compatible with the material of your toy to ensure safety.
Consider the type of sexual activity and the materials of any toys or condoms being used when selecting the right lubricant.
Cleaning and Maintaining Your Sex Toys
Proper cleaning and maintenance of your sex toys ensure their longevity and safety. Different materials require specific cleaning methods; nonporous items can be sanitized with boiling water or a dishwasher. Use mild soap and warm water for cleaning porous toys to prevent damage. Always clean your toys before and after each use with mild soap or specialized toy cleaners. Additionally, always follow the manufacturer’s instructions for cleaning and maintenance of sex toys to ensure proper hygiene and care.
Battery-operated toys should have their batteries removed during cleaning to prevent corrosion. Allow porous toys to air dry thoroughly before storage. Rechargeable sex toys are often more convenient and longer-lasting than battery-operated ones, making them a cost-effective choice in the long run.
Store sex toys separately to prevent body-safe materials from reacting or melting into each other. Use nonplastic containers or fabric bags to prevent damage and contamination. Additionally, ensure toys are stored in a cool, dry place to maintain their condition and longevity.
Sex Toy Etiquette
Practicing good sex toy etiquette is essential for a healthy and enjoyable sex life. Always clean your sex toys thoroughly with mild soap and warm water after each use to prevent the buildup of harmful bacteria. Make sure toys are completely dry before storing them in a cool, dry place, ideally in their own pouch or container to avoid contact with other toys and objects.
When introducing a new sex toy into a relationship, open and honest communication is key. Discuss your interests, boundaries, and any concerns with your partner, and always respect each other’s comfort levels. Never pressure or coerce someone into using a sex toy if they’re not interested. By following these simple guidelines, you can ensure that your experiences with sex toys are positive, respectful, and fun for everyone involved.
Do’s and Don’ts of Using Sex Toys
Navigating the world of sex toys is exciting, but there are some important do’s and don’ts to keep in mind for a safe and pleasurable experience:
Getting Creative with Sex Toys
Getting creative with sex toys can lead to new and exciting sensations. Experimenting with different pressures and angles can transform your experience. Vibrators can be used on other erogenous zones such as the neck, nipples, and inner thighs for enhanced stimulation. Begin with the lowest setting on a vibrating toy and gradually increase intensity as you feel comfortable. Experimenting with other erogenous zones beyond the genitals, like the neck, nipples, or inner thighs, can open up new dimensions of pleasure and arousal.
For solo sessions, certain toys like male masturbators or fleshlights can become your best friend, providing reliable and enjoyable experiences that heighten pleasure.
Using toys as part of a playful guessing game can add an element of fun to the experience. Whether exploring solo sessions or with a partner, letting your imagination run wild can spice things up and make your intimate moments even more enjoyable. Couples play can enhance this experience even further.
Enhancing Intimacy with Sex Toys

Using sex toys can significantly boost the overall satisfaction and quality of relationships. Engaging with them often leads to enhanced communication about sexual preferences and desires within a relationship. They can make intimate moments feel more adventurous, fostering excitement. Additionally, the use of sex toys can help bridge the orgasm gap in heterosexual relationships, where men often achieve orgasm more frequently than women. Bringing sex toys into intimacy can also help debunk myths around performance inadequacy, creating a more open and accepting environment for exploration.
Couples who experiment with various sexual activities, including couples toys, generally report higher satisfaction in both their sex life and relationships. Introducing sex toys can introduce a new dynamic and excitement, revitalizing your intimate life and bringing you closer together.
Summary
Summing up, sex toys offer a wonderful opportunity to enhance pleasure, explore new sensations, and deepen intimacy. From choosing your first toy to exploring different types and incorporating them into partnered play, the journey with sex toys is both exciting and fulfilling.
Embrace the adventure, communicate openly with your partner, and most importantly, have fun. The world of sex toys is vast and full of possibilities—so go ahead, take the plunge and discover the transformative power of these delightful gadgets.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the best material for a beginner’s sex toy?
Pure silicone is the best material for a beginner’s sex toy because it’s safe for the body and easy to clean. You can enjoy exploring without worry!
How should I clean my sex toys?
To clean your sex toys effectively, just use mild soap and warm water for porous materials, while nonporous items can be safely sanitized in boiling water or the dishwasher. Keeping them clean ensures they last longer and stay safe for your enjoyment!
Can sex toys be used in partnered play?
Absolutely, sex toys can really spice things up in partnered play! They not only enhance intimacy and pleasure but also encourage open communication between partners.
What type of lubricant should I use with silicone toys?
Stick with water-based lubricants for your silicone toys; they’re safe and won’t damage the material. This way, you can enjoy your experience without worrying about your toys getting ruined!
Are vibrators safe to use on different parts of the body?
Absolutely, vibrators are safe to use on different body parts like the neck, nipples, and inner thighs for added pleasure! Just remember to listen to your body and enjoy the experience.
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